Caz and C R A M P talk about the Old Testament
- C R A M P: heeheeheehee
- C R A M P: Speaking of which
- C R A M P: we're reading the Bible for my poli-sci class
- C R A M P: and in the Old Testament, GOD IS SUCH A DICK
- C R A M P: LIKE I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT A DICK HE IS
- Caz: which I'm sure you are just lovinggggggg
- Caz: Yeah, God kinda hated people in the first testament
- C R A M P: "HEY GUYS DON'T TOUCH THAT TREE OKAY BECAUSE IT'LL MAKE YOU AWARE OF RIGHT AND WRONG AND I WANT YOU TO STAY IGNORANT OKAY"
- C R A M P: "HEY CAIN LOL YOUR GIFT SUCKS"
- Caz: I can't say I know much about Cain :/
- C R A M P: "OH COME ON YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY COOPERATING AND WORKING TOGETHER? NAH BRO I'LL JUST SMITE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU AND MAKE YOU SPEAK DIFFERENT LANGUAGES AND HATE EACH OTHER"
- Caz: Yeahhhhh ><
- C R A M P: Cain and Abel were the brothers. Abel was a shepherd, Cain was a farmer. Abel brought God a sheep (because he's a sherpherd, right? cool) and Cain brought God fruit (because he's a farmer, right? cool)
- C R A M P: And God was like "Wow this is a really cool sheep man thanks"
- C R A M P: And then he was like "......."
- C R A M P: ".................."
- C R A M P: "...... fruit is lame lololololol"
- Caz: Didn't Cain kill his brother?
- C R A M P: And that's what drove Cain to-
- C R A M P: yeah
- C R A M P: which is a shitty thing to do
- C R A M P: but like, God, come on, bro
- Caz: Yeahhh, God don't like no fruit n vegies
- C R A M P: JEEZ GOD WILL YOU STOP THAT
- Caz: STOP THE SMITING
- C R A M P: And then he was like "Hey so you guys are all being pretty shitty to each other, probably because I chucked you out of Eden and made you speak different languages and turned you all into misogynists, so I'mma drown the SHIT out of you"
- C R A M P: and then AFTER THAT
- C R A M P: he was finally like
- C R A M P: "Whoa man that wasn't cool"
- C R A M P: "Whoa I"
- C R A M P: "I'm not gonna do that again"
- C R A M P: "Uh"
- C R A M P: "Sorry about that"
- Caz: "My bad, bro!"
- C R A M P: "Here's a rainbow"
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brysonday reblogged this from christowitch and added:
^^ and this reminded me why I dislike the Bible
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